i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
