I got chris browned last night
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
