so that wasnt chicken after all
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
