Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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