That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
