This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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