Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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