meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
