Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
