Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
