i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
