I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
tell me about the eggs
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
