I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
