Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
