I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
