But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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