try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
