She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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