absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Sober January is a disaster.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
