I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
