Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
