Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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