did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
