i may or may not be watching the land before time
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I would fuck him just for his dog
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
