I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Randomize
