If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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