Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
