I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Randomize
