I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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