She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
