Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I met the friendliest cop last night
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
