Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i think im in europe. pls send help
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
