is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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