i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
