sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
