no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
