Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
