im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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