It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize