I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
