So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
