i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
