booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
