She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
