Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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