I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
