Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
