he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
