exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
