"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
