I hate all girls vehemently.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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