Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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