I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
